A Tale of Ants and Ice Creams
by Villman
Summary: Side fic to the Brotherly Hate series. Jason acheives a long time goal of getting to wrestle for his favourite independant promotion, but finds himself in a world where the lines of what's 'real' are more than blurred... just what goes on in CHIKARA anyway?


_Here I am again, my on and off relationship with wrestling fanfiction returns... please don't judge._

_So, this is a little side fic to my usual stuff, a little 'get the writing bug' back kinda project without messing with the main series, consider it AU, that said CHIKARA is literally a pocket universe of its own... not kidding, anyone unfamiliar with CHIKARA reading this, they have some WEIRD stuff going on, this stuff I'll be putting in won't be doing it justice, probably why I'm such a fanboy though._

_Buuuuuuuuut I digress, shall we begin?_

**A Tale of Ants and Ice Cream – Chapter 1- That SHAKIRA BS…**

_Mr Cena,_

_In response to your (many, MANY), emails requesting a spot on our roster (and may I say I admire your tenacity after missing out on the Young Lion's Cup, Infinite Gauntlet, Johnny Kidd Invitational, National Pro Wrestling Day, the Tag World Grand Prix, la Loteria Letal AND Chuck Taylor's birthday party), I am pleased to inform you that after speaking with your director of authority Mr Cornette (I also admire your ability to cope with his temper) about my desire to have a Team TNA in this years tournament, we have agreed to allow TNA to be the 16th team in this years King of Trios tournament and for you to be the captain. Please fill out the attached entry form with your two partners names and contact information so that the bookings can be confirmed._

_Welcome to CHIKARA._

_Kind regards,_

_Mike Quackenbush, CHIKARA Director of Fun._

_P.S. - Mr Cornette says he will also say this to you be because (and I qoute) "That kid may need the point driven into his damn head several times" but I must remind you that you are representing not only your team but your promotion in this tournament and your best behaviour is expected at all times._

"You are NOT gonna stop smiling today are you?" The voice behind him finally making Jason Cena whirl round to face his girlfriend.

"How can you expect me to?" He asked, the grin on his face widening at the amused expression he was receiving. "I've only wanted to work for Quack's crew since I was wrestling in front of 13 people and a dog under a mask and calling myself Vorhees!"

Mara Daniels winced as memories from what felt like a lifetime ago, certainly before wrestling had picked up for them both, flooded back. The business certainly had... interesting ways for teenagers looking to break into it to get noticed.

"You swore we'd never bring those days up again" she scolded, not quite joking, her boyfriend just laughed.

"And you swore you'd stop kicking Christy Hemme in the head."

"She deserved it!" Mara protested. "I mean, she didn't HAVE to tag in after Gail had gotten me so riled up..."

Jason laughed again and waited for the email to finish printing off with the attached form, all joking aside, getting a spot in CHIKARA's King of Trios tournament was a pretty big deal even without his personal desire to work for the promotion. Sixteen teams of three would battle over three days in a single elimination war to be the last team standing, and every year the founder of the promotion Mike Quackenbush would do his best to outdo himself with the entry list, as well as several teams of his own, homegrown talent the tournament would boast appearances by teams representing the best promotions on the indies, the best individuals from the indies, sometimes a team representing a country or even a team of wrestling legends put together for the occasion. Experience, size, not even gender was excluded for this tournament, hell, this year there was a team representing the all women's promotion SHIMMER, for Jim Cornette to finally allow a team TNA in was huge.

"I swear, given the choice you'd have taken this over a hundred MSG sellouts when we were working for Vince" Mara commented.

"Some things aren't about the money, especially in wrestlling. Some places you just have to work before because you can, like you for Sendai Girls."

"Fair point" she conceded. "You telling me you wouldn't cut your arm off to say you wrestled Meiko Satamura?"

Jason paused in mid-reach for the paperwork finally piling up in the printer "Did you just fan girl for someone?"

"I fan girl'd for a genuine female legend, yeah" Mara shrugged. "But anyway, who's your team gonna be? You're only allowed two partners and even if you rule out anyone out of our circle you still have to narrow down from four."

Jason frowned to himself, this was a good point, truth being told despite having an entire roster to choose from he was only ever going to choose from his closest friends in the promotion, in his head he began running through the options.

Chris Sabin, a longtime rival from before even his WWE days, probably the guy he knew best and the most decorated of the group, including himself (something Chris never hesitated to remind him about).

Jay Lethal, the best kept secret of the group, Jason honestly belived that Jay would probably go on to outshine a good ninety percent of the roster if given the chance.

Sonjay Dutt, often mocked as the cannon fodder or 'comic relief' of his friends, Sonjay could go with the best of them, though Jason conceded, he had to be considreably motivated beyond a friendly rivalry with Jay in order to get results.

And finally Alex Shelley, Chris' longtime partner, which made picking an already longstanding team an appealing choice, Alex's ability was matched only by his humour and his ability to get under anyone's skin, something that probably made him Jason's favourite of the group due to his similarities.

Still, getting those four down to two was going to be a hard task, unless...

"There's another option" he said suddenly, prompting Mara to cock her head to the side in confusion. "I mean, it's the whole roster I can choose from, maybe I can get the old tag team championship team back together."

Mara's confusion grew. "Jason? As good an idea as it is, that'd just be you and AJ..." she trailed off at his growing smirk.

"Mara, the WHOLE roster? and Quack is all about giving women a chance, plus, you did help me and AJ hand LAX and AMW their asses a lot..."

Yup, he was going there.

"Are you asking me to be your partner for this?"

"Think about it, you and me, and AJ, taking on the world together? Winning a tournament and being in wrestling history books forever? I mean, would it help if I got down on one knee and made it more romantic?" That finally broke her and got a laugh as she walked over and playfully swatted his arm.

"Jason, you have made me the happiest girl in the world" she teased. "But, I'm already waiting for a booking to come through that weekend, sorry."

The teen gave a defeated sigh. "Wrestling breaks my heart again."

"The joys of being independant" Mara smiled, a knowing look on her face that he couldn't figure out. "I gotta work too, I have a reputation to keep up."

"True" her boyfriend muttered, dropping the forms into his bag. "Better try and narrow this down then."

"It shouldn't be too hard" she said with a shrug. "Just take the first two that answer and you're in."

"Well, let's go get this team together then..."

* * *

Jason wasn't sure what reaction he'd been expecting when he announced the news to his friends, but what he was certain about was that this _certainly_ wasn't it.

"... so, who wants to come to CHIKARA with me?" He repeated, a lot less enthusiastically.

They still wouldn't meet his eyes, Chris and Alex exchanged a look as though they were telepathically trying to get the other to speak first, Sonjay suddenly became interested in a trailing bootlace, Jay just stared at the ground.

"Well, this is awkward" Mara whisprered, Jason cringed inwardly.

_No shit Sherlock..._

"What?" He asked, not able to take the awkward silence any longer, Jay sighed and looked up.

"Kid, it's just... it's not you... any other promotion I'd be all over but..." he took a deep breath. "It's..."

"CHIKARA is weird" Chris spoke up bluntly, Alex visibly flinched next to him. "It's weird, Quackenbush is weird and it's not worth the headache."

"... Weird?"

"Come on kid, look at the place" Alex added, happy to talk now Chris had opened the floodgates. "I mean, he's made his guys wrestle as ants, ANTS kid! Then there's that tag team with the cones..."

"Los Ice Creams" muttered Chris.

"Exactly! Los Ice Creams!" Alex exclaimed. "I think wrestling should be fun as much as the next guy but still..."

"A don't get me started on Darkness Crabtree" Chris carried on the snowball effect. "Or Jervis Cottonbelly, or Archibald Peck..."

"Oh come on! Archie's cool" Jason protested. Jay took his turn.

"Plus all those guys currently trying to take the place down, The Flood? Yeah, when every group that's ever had an issue with the place unites into a literal army... I'm not gonna go get dragged into a war for one weekend of work."

Jason turned to Sonjay. "And you?"

"I'm not working anywhere that books Icarus" his friend shrugged. "I want nothing to do with that hideous back tattoo."

"That's your one issue?" Alex blinked in confusion as he turned to face the other man.

"I said what I said."

"Guys..." Jason could barely get the word out before Chris spoke up again.

"Kid, we have nothing but love for you, but CHIKARA is... it's just too silly, hell didn't your trainer call it 'that Shakira bull...'"

"Gotta take this" Mara interrupted, jumping up with her phone and heading for the door, Jason allowed himself a laugh.

"Is there anyone there? Or are you just bailing on the awkwardness and leaving me to die?"

"Yes" she replied with a smirk, pausing long enough for Alex to laugh. "But seriously, it's Allison and... well, she does get irritated by you."

"I got it, tell your brothers' bestie that I still hate her too" with that Mara left and Jason turned back to his friends with a sigh.

"So, let me get this straight, after all, ALL the dumb stuff we've done around here, all the headache's we've caused. CHKARA is too silly for you?"

None met his eyes again, Chris and Alex especially made a point to become interested in the wall opposite them.

"I mean, I'll admit there's some cartoony stuff there, but look beyond the characters and all their guys can wrestle, I thought we were all about facing the best competition and proving that we were better than them, collectively and indivisually, when did that change?"

Jay and Sonjay now looked thoughtful, Chris was stubbornly staring straight ahead at the wall but Alex... Alex was starting to look guily, Jason focused on him.

"I mean, I could go ask any two guys out there if they'll be team TNA with me, but I wanted to ask you guys first because deep down everyone knows we're the best this company can offer, and this was a chance for me to prove it by beating some of the best talent in the world and have a fun weekend, I just thought my _friends_ would want to do it with me.."

"Now you play the emotional blackmail card" Alex muttered, breaking the silence and earning a look from Chris. "Now? For CHIKARA? You're gonna emotionally blackmail us over CHIKARA?"

"How is this any different from you begging Kushida to get into New Japan? Hell, I'm already booked and trying to get you work!"

"This is completely different from that!" Alex snapped back, his resolve visibly fading, much to Chris' annoyance. "It was Best of the Super Juniors! The talent..."

"Have you seen some of the talent that does King of Trios?" Jason replied. "One year we had Dave Taylor, Brian Danielson and Claudio Castagnoli on the same team! That's insane!"

The mention of the talent seemed to have sealed it, Chris sighed as Alex turned to fully look at Jason.

"OK, you've made your point, and it'd be cool to add another tournament to the list of accolades. I'm in."

"Sell out" muttered Chris, Alex actually laughed.

"I fight for glory or women my friend and since the only women in CHIKARA will be trying to beat me I'll settle for the glory."

Jason grinned and turned to the other two. "Guys, which one of you..."

"Hooooold on!" Chris stood up. "There is no way you're only taking _one_ of the Machine Guns! If Alex is in then so am I?"

"Now who's the sell out?"

"I will slap you right now" Chris glared his partner into silence, Jay and Sonjay chuckled at the argument. "Hand the forms over before I change my mind."

"Thanks buddy" Jason grinned as he gave his friend the paperwork. "Owe you one."

"More than one" Chris muttered before passing the extra form to Alex for him to sign.

"Whatever happened to Claudio and Bryan anyway? It's like they fell into another universe or something?"

"Dunno" Jason shrugged. "I'm sure they got work somewhere, hell, we'll probably find Claudio in a bar somewhere..."

"Do I hear a fourth wall being broken?" Sonjay muttered, raising another laugh from Jay as Mara came back in.

"I see you got your team."

"Yup, played the friendship card, just like you taught me."

"And she says _I'm_ the bad influence" Alex quickly fell silent as Mara fixed him with a glare again.

"So, Allison have anything nice to say?"

"Only that my booking for that weekend is confirmed" Mara replied, a smirk that Jason couldn't work out crossing her face.

"Going anywhere nice?"

"Philly."

"Oh, so you'll be in town anyway?" The teen asked with a frown. "I didn't think anyone else was doing shows in Philly over King of Trios weekend?"

Mara's smirk grew as she saw her boyfriend slowly putting two and two together. "They're not, you're talking to the third member of Team SHIMMER.."

Alex's pen dropped to the ground as his head snapped up, Jason had worked it out literally as Mara had finished announcing it and was slowly turning to face her, the smirk threatening to engulf her whole face as she realised he knew what that meant.

"See you in the tournament boys..."

* * *

_Right, let's see how this goes, what whackiness in the crazy world of CHIKARA awaits our heroes?_

_See ya soon... maybe... hopefully..._


End file.
